Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
