matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
