If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
