Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
ttyl tear gas
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
