Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
PANTIES FOUND
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