he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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