At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
