We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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