dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
