Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
