Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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