..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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