so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
