there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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