why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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