so explain again why im purple
no
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
