at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
