Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
