She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
