I feel like abortions should bother me more
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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