I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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