Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
