his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
