I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
