Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
