I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
