did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
