All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
