I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
