Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
