nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
