oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
