guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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