Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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