I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
there was a trapeze. enough said
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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