i think my mom watched the whole time
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
