and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
