Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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