can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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