My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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