Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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