I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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