the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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