My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
