So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize