The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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