We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
