It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
