thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
