dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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