hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
