We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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