Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
