I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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