guys are not supposed to queef...right?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize