So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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