Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
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