i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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