If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize