I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
