i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
