She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
