I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
