try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
