Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
