how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
