I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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