probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
