I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
